I've seen relationships being built and I've seen them flounder and stagnate. There are also those that have been perfect and those that have just withered away. And then any of us would have seen in our daily lives - 'FAMILY MAN WITH 2 CHILDREN HAVING AFFAIR' and out comes the can of worms with everybody cursing, debating and flogging the poor chap!
As for me, I've always wondered what was it all about and why would the affair start off in the first place. What would convince the man who's supposed to be happy with his life to look at another woman and start off a relationship with her?!
And so I imagine....
A third year of marriage going strong with everything as good as it is supposed to be. There is nothing I can absolutely find fault with my dearest and her family. I am loved, accepted and pampered in many ways by them and I have every intention of going all the way.
This is what I have been dreaming off. Having gone through thick and thin and the length & breadth of our country, all I wanted was to just settle down and start a family. Weeelllll, no kids till now, but hopefully in the pipeline somewhere :-)
OK, let's retract first to my personality. I may be happily married and all devoted to my lady but I'm NOT bogged down to my domestic life. I will always help around the house and am by her side for anything she needs. Yet, maybe since as a Geminian by nature, I have varied interests and cannot be happy with just one thing. A collection of 3 classic bikes and scooter & 2 MUVs and 4 mixed breed dogs, plus my ever increasing curiosity for various streams of music, keeps me going on for more and I wish I could do a lot extra! I head out with the guys on rides to the beaches or the mountains, sometimes with my fair lady, I volunteer at the local Animal shelter, etc. So while my love life is settled, what about my friendships? Definitely I keep meeting new people and while some are interesting and good to keep building a rapport, others may just be on a casual and friendly 'Hi' basis!
And then, with an imaginary and extended drum roll - she's there! The other girl! But who is she?
Let's say that I've known her for the past 3 - 4 years as a casual friend, very friendly to talk to, friends to both my wife and me. Age? Hmmm, was she a student then? Young, spirited and free?! A good 20 years difference between us?! Ok, that sounds good.
With very basic interaction, more on the friendly side between her family and us, both my wife and I would look forward to speaking to her, and inviting her on outings with us.
Her innocence and youthful ways are a delight to observe and her bubbly mannerisms, accompanied by her soft-spoken voice made both of us agree that if we had a daughter, she should be just like her!
While she treats my wife with respect addressing her as an elder sister, it was not the same for me, since she just could not think of me as such an elderly person. So it's on a first name basis between the two of us.
Post her final exams and not finding a job, she turned to me for advice. And of course, once I start I don't stop. We worked on her CV, searched for jobs, made her understand that she should look at activities that might look attractive to companies recruiting. Prior to this, the one thing that changed my outlook towards her, was when she wanted to practise on the guitar, having just gone for classes. Anybody who appreciates music and is ready to play an instrument becomes my good friend instantly :-) and so it was, that I agreed to help her practise, trying to ensure that she spends an hour daily at her home, practicing.
Ok, ok, if someone were to think of cupids and romantic trumpets at this moment, there was nothing like that. Even at this trans-formative age, where she's still learning, she is pretty mature and has her head on straight in the right direction, while even I do have other things to worry about. Still, her enthusiasm to try out everything - helping pluck off jackfruits from the garden, wanting to learn swimming, eager to ride a bike and then go for a 230 + journey one way and the ever existing excitement to dance (ballroom & contemporary), made her seem even more attractive to me. In a way, she sort of picked up from the juncture, where my kid brother left off. I left home 18 years back and I left my baby brother who was just around 1 and a half years old.
From the hospital I had taken care of him, fed him, put him to sleep, changed his napkins and then I suddenly left. The holidays gave me a chance to be with him and see him grow, but I wasn't there all the time. So he grew up with my parents but without his elder siblings. Now he's grown up and in degree college and in his own world with his friends. Now, seeing her brings in a nostalgic feeling that can't be explained!
We both decided to enroll for dance classes (of course with my wife's permission, what did you think?), with my wife deciding against joining too, as she was not upto going up and down all the time. While we both were quite nervous on our first days, she quickly got into the groove, since she knew some of the other dancers there as well as the jive steps that she had already picked up earlier. But when we held each other, there was a feeling of comfort that I had only felt earlier with my fair lady. She helped put me at ease!
What am I feeling? Interesting question! I have absolutely no wish to start of an affair with someone, let alone someone who's much younger to me. I am not interested in two timing nor of putting my fair lady in the back ground. However I do wish to still talk to this girl and interact with her, just be there to guide her and to play guitar and sing songs together. I know she has a love interest in her life and while it'll be good for her to be happy, I also hope she'll be right about her decisions in life!
I do know that she's soon going to move out into a new job in a new city with a new life and we'll just be old friends, of the past. As of now, the way I see it, I've been given a chance to know someone, a person whom I practically looked at ignorantly, through and through for the past few years and only came to know now! While time is still there, the most I can do is cherish the moments we interact and just be there for her.
When a child comes into our lives, when a little puppy strays into our hearts or as in my case, if a nice old classic motorcycle comes into my possession, its a strong feeling of affection and attraction. So if there's someone who somehow makes me notice her as a person, with her innocence and beauty, is there a rule in the book which says I should not like her?
The lyrics of Randy Crawford's song 'Almaz' would bring out that sweet sensation of feelings -
'She only smiles
He only tells her
that she's the flowers, the wind and spring
In all her splendor sweetly surrendering
The love that innocence brings'
And then even as I look at her youthful face, I can feel that she'll slowly drift away too...!
I hope and pray she'll do well in the real world!
As for me, I've always wondered what was it all about and why would the affair start off in the first place. What would convince the man who's supposed to be happy with his life to look at another woman and start off a relationship with her?!
And so I imagine....
A third year of marriage going strong with everything as good as it is supposed to be. There is nothing I can absolutely find fault with my dearest and her family. I am loved, accepted and pampered in many ways by them and I have every intention of going all the way.
This is what I have been dreaming off. Having gone through thick and thin and the length & breadth of our country, all I wanted was to just settle down and start a family. Weeelllll, no kids till now, but hopefully in the pipeline somewhere :-)OK, let's retract first to my personality. I may be happily married and all devoted to my lady but I'm NOT bogged down to my domestic life. I will always help around the house and am by her side for anything she needs. Yet, maybe since as a Geminian by nature, I have varied interests and cannot be happy with just one thing. A collection of 3 classic bikes and scooter & 2 MUVs and 4 mixed breed dogs, plus my ever increasing curiosity for various streams of music, keeps me going on for more and I wish I could do a lot extra! I head out with the guys on rides to the beaches or the mountains, sometimes with my fair lady, I volunteer at the local Animal shelter, etc. So while my love life is settled, what about my friendships? Definitely I keep meeting new people and while some are interesting and good to keep building a rapport, others may just be on a casual and friendly 'Hi' basis!
And then, with an imaginary and extended drum roll - she's there! The other girl! But who is she?
Let's say that I've known her for the past 3 - 4 years as a casual friend, very friendly to talk to, friends to both my wife and me. Age? Hmmm, was she a student then? Young, spirited and free?! A good 20 years difference between us?! Ok, that sounds good.
With very basic interaction, more on the friendly side between her family and us, both my wife and I would look forward to speaking to her, and inviting her on outings with us.
Her innocence and youthful ways are a delight to observe and her bubbly mannerisms, accompanied by her soft-spoken voice made both of us agree that if we had a daughter, she should be just like her!While she treats my wife with respect addressing her as an elder sister, it was not the same for me, since she just could not think of me as such an elderly person. So it's on a first name basis between the two of us.
Post her final exams and not finding a job, she turned to me for advice. And of course, once I start I don't stop. We worked on her CV, searched for jobs, made her understand that she should look at activities that might look attractive to companies recruiting. Prior to this, the one thing that changed my outlook towards her, was when she wanted to practise on the guitar, having just gone for classes. Anybody who appreciates music and is ready to play an instrument becomes my good friend instantly :-) and so it was, that I agreed to help her practise, trying to ensure that she spends an hour daily at her home, practicing.
Ok, ok, if someone were to think of cupids and romantic trumpets at this moment, there was nothing like that. Even at this trans-formative age, where she's still learning, she is pretty mature and has her head on straight in the right direction, while even I do have other things to worry about. Still, her enthusiasm to try out everything - helping pluck off jackfruits from the garden, wanting to learn swimming, eager to ride a bike and then go for a 230 + journey one way and the ever existing excitement to dance (ballroom & contemporary), made her seem even more attractive to me. In a way, she sort of picked up from the juncture, where my kid brother left off. I left home 18 years back and I left my baby brother who was just around 1 and a half years old.
From the hospital I had taken care of him, fed him, put him to sleep, changed his napkins and then I suddenly left. The holidays gave me a chance to be with him and see him grow, but I wasn't there all the time. So he grew up with my parents but without his elder siblings. Now he's grown up and in degree college and in his own world with his friends. Now, seeing her brings in a nostalgic feeling that can't be explained!We both decided to enroll for dance classes (of course with my wife's permission, what did you think?), with my wife deciding against joining too, as she was not upto going up and down all the time. While we both were quite nervous on our first days, she quickly got into the groove, since she knew some of the other dancers there as well as the jive steps that she had already picked up earlier. But when we held each other, there was a feeling of comfort that I had only felt earlier with my fair lady. She helped put me at ease!
What am I feeling? Interesting question! I have absolutely no wish to start of an affair with someone, let alone someone who's much younger to me. I am not interested in two timing nor of putting my fair lady in the back ground. However I do wish to still talk to this girl and interact with her, just be there to guide her and to play guitar and sing songs together. I know she has a love interest in her life and while it'll be good for her to be happy, I also hope she'll be right about her decisions in life!
I do know that she's soon going to move out into a new job in a new city with a new life and we'll just be old friends, of the past. As of now, the way I see it, I've been given a chance to know someone, a person whom I practically looked at ignorantly, through and through for the past few years and only came to know now! While time is still there, the most I can do is cherish the moments we interact and just be there for her.
When a child comes into our lives, when a little puppy strays into our hearts or as in my case, if a nice old classic motorcycle comes into my possession, its a strong feeling of affection and attraction. So if there's someone who somehow makes me notice her as a person, with her innocence and beauty, is there a rule in the book which says I should not like her?
The lyrics of Randy Crawford's song 'Almaz' would bring out that sweet sensation of feelings -
'She only smilesHe only tells her
that she's the flowers, the wind and spring
In all her splendor sweetly surrendering
The love that innocence brings'
And then even as I look at her youthful face, I can feel that she'll slowly drift away too...!
I hope and pray she'll do well in the real world!
